Confessions of a Heart on the Mend

 Dear Boaz,

I've made unwise decisions in the past  that had left me wounded and leaving permanent scars upon my heart. I wish so much I could take them back.  It's like a line in t.s. eliot's j. alfred prufrock where he says, "In a minute there is time, for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse..." I can only pray that you would have enough grace to forgive what I've done and see only the woman that God is molding and shaping me to be now. As clay that fell off the wheel for a time, I've learned to completely surrender into His hands, letting Him smooth out and repair the the cracks, healing the damage.

Wounds so

ragged and raw,

ravaged from being gouged out

time and time again

I'd wrapped myself beneath veils of feigned fearlessness to hide them-

It would only startle others if they saw...

But you came along...

I found myself letting go of the layers...

I fought so to keep them on...

You see through everything...

even what I try to hide from myself-

Ashamed and embarrassed,

This vulnerability is unnerving-

You see the scars now...

Are you still able to call me beautiful?

Yours Always,

Ruth