Grace Notes

Dear Boaz,

I want you to know I'm thinking and praying for you daily. I know you're somewhere out there and I love you even though I don't know you yet. :)

Your Ruth

Non-Negotiables

Dear Boaz,

If there's one thing you'll learn about me, it's that I like making lists (and if they're on post-its, it's even better.) I've written down somewhere in a journal (and it's also in typed document) a list of qualities I'm praying God is cultivating in you. This isn't the whole list, but the things that are the core of qualities/attributes I hope you'll have.

I'm praying that you are...

- completely and totally devoted to your relationship with Jesus, striving to know Him, growing to be more like Him and love Him passionately.

-willing to sacrifice for me

-going to cherish and nourish our relationship ( through romance)

-willing to understand me (study me and know what causes my soul to thrive and also what deflates it)

-honors me (consideration, chivalry, listens)

-protective of me physically (safety and security), emotionally (sensitivity to my feelings), spiritually (able to tell me what you're thinking so that I wouldn't be fixated on what's on your mind and be distracted from my own relationship with Christ)

 Mark 12:29-30, Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:7 (Yes, biblical references. I'll get to my side of things in another blog...)

May our Lord continue to bless you and provide opportunities in your life that shape and mold you into the man He has called you to be and the one He will someday bring to me. I pray in my own life I'm becoming the woman worth waiting for...

Love,

Your Ruth

"Mawwage is what bwings us together today..." -Princess Bride

Dear Boaz,

This past weekend I went to two weddings. One was of a youth group student I met when she was in eighth grade. The other was of a childhood friend who I would get into all kinds of mischief with (ask me someday about the glue incident(s)). Now that I've had a few days to absorb and reflect on  both ceremonies of these two close people in my life I can write about it now.

Thought #1: Seeing these ceremonies gets me all excited to get married! (When the Lord allows of course. Everything is obviously contingent on His timing for that particular event to occur. He's still preparing you to find me still so... ;-D)

Thought #2: I'm encouraged to see the love of the grooms for each of their brides. I'm so happy for each of my friends to have been found by such exceptional men. The stories of the ways they've sacrificed and pursued  their wives just blows me away. My childhood friend's husband literally left his life on the East Coast, came to California and took a chance on pursuing a relationship with her. I mean wow, you know? Only God could have orchestrated their love story.

Thought#3: Watching the wedding ceremony, knowing the  symbolism behind marriage itself moves me so profoundly every single time. I was tearing up watching them exchange vows. It's like seeing through a window to God's indescribable love, a small taste of seeing how much Christ(groom) loves the church (bride). 

Anyway, it was a great weekend. To be a witness and being a part of such a significant day in their lives was so great. It only makes me pray for you more fervently that God is doing some incredible things in your life and can't wait to hear about them. (Hopefully sooner rather than later.) Until then my love...

Always,

Ruth

Confessions of a Heart on the Mend

 Dear Boaz,

I've made unwise decisions in the past  that had left me wounded and leaving permanent scars upon my heart. I wish so much I could take them back.  It's like a line in t.s. eliot's j. alfred prufrock where he says, "In a minute there is time, for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse..." I can only pray that you would have enough grace to forgive what I've done and see only the woman that God is molding and shaping me to be now. As clay that fell off the wheel for a time, I've learned to completely surrender into His hands, letting Him smooth out and repair the the cracks, healing the damage.

Wounds so

ragged and raw,

ravaged from being gouged out

time and time again

I'd wrapped myself beneath veils of feigned fearlessness to hide them-

It would only startle others if they saw...

But you came along...

I found myself letting go of the layers...

I fought so to keep them on...

You see through everything...

even what I try to hide from myself-

Ashamed and embarrassed,

This vulnerability is unnerving-

You see the scars now...

Are you still able to call me beautiful?

Yours Always,

Ruth

Room to Breathe

My Love,

It seems the busier I get, the more I tend to stop writing. I guess when I put so many other things ahead of quiet and rest, I let all the thoughts I'm going to write down pile up in a corner gathering dust. When I do give myself a minute, I look at the pile and just think again, "Later...," until there's a huge stack unkempt yellowing pieces of words and unexplored thoughts untouched and haphazardly splayed. It eventually will get to me and like a mad woman I'll sort through it with such fury, wondering how I ever let it get that messy.

Sigh. Most times I think I do that because I don't like facing the fact that I'm a bit lonely for you sometimes and just wish you'd get here already.

Yours forever,

Ruth